Saturday, August 16, 2008

Fear...and Accomplishments

Today was a great day. My oldest son and I went to see Filly at my wonderful friend L's place. We are lucky enough to get up there once a week and in this case, it has been two weeks since we saw Filly last. The last time we were there, L was in Ireland visiting family, so we just longed Filly and bathed her, no riding. Well, today, L was home and was kind enough to give D and me each a longe lesson. D on L's horse Jack and me on Filly.

You see, I have this horrible fear of riding Filly. There is truly no reason for it, other than she is still very green at eight years old and can be a bit silly sometimes. She has bucked me off a couple of times, but luckily, I have not been hurt. I believe it is the fear of getting hurt that grips me. I still haven't written about Filly's story yet, but I will soon. She was a very green 4 year old when we bought her, but was quiet, yet very nervous under saddle. Due to a lot of life events, I have not been able to focus on her training, so her silliness is totally my fault. We are working through it though and this longe lesson was fabulous today. I started her out on the longe and worked her at the walk, trot and canter; working on her transitions and halting on cue. She was very relaxed today, so that was a plus. When L offered to longe me on her, I couldn't refuse, but boy, that tight feeling of anxiety was reeeealllly bad. After only a few circles though, Filly's back was swinging rather than humped up as usual, so I finally relaxed and settled into the saddle. We worked both directions doing simple walk-trot-walk-halt transitions. When the lesson was over, I felt like we had made a huge accomplishment. For me, it WAS a huge accomplishment...and Filly didn't do any of her silly scooting-out-from-under-me garbage she used to do so well.

Honestly, I should sell her and get something dead broke and quiet, but I have this hope that once we can work together on a regular basis (namely, when we are able to move her to our place), we may be able to accomplish some great things together.

The fear thing is so aggravating. This is not something I experienced very often when I was younger and I do not like it at all. Hopefully this fear thing can be beat and Filly and I can go on to bigger and better things, like riding with D and Tonto...


fssunnysd said...

I hear you! I'm such a nervous Nelly any more. It gets - somewhat - better the more frequently I ride, and worse the longer I wait.

You and Filly make a lovely pair - and if it helps any, you don't look nervous at all :)

BaxtersMum said...

we're old. we're more aware that bad things happen.

you know you need to relax - it will make responding to Filly easier.

She's also probably being a shit on occasion. They do that.

Keep up the good work. Consistency is the key to building trust for the both of you.